Re-evaluating The Meaning of 'I Have No Time' In A Busy World.

One of the most challenging mind traps that I notice we often fall in to is the very palpable feeling…. ‘I have no time’.

If you were to reflect on your life right now would you describe yourself as someone that has an abundance of time to ‘get things done’ or are you someone that constantly feels that there aren’t enough hours in the day?? If you fall in to the latter category how does this make you feel physically, emotionally and mentally?

Chances are that if you feel you never have enough time, you will also feel an overwhelming sense of day to day pressure, a tendency towards emotional overwhelm and quite possibly diminishing supplies of patience and perhaps unintentionally, empathy for others. But what is it that gives rise to the feeling I don’t have enough time and what is it that keeps us stuck in a pattern of never feeling that we have enough time for ourselves?

One of the realities we contend with in this modern day is that we are constantly cajoled in to a world view, that to be busy is to be productive, and to be productive is to be of value. Unless we have multiple plates spinning at any one time it apparently means that we haven’t mastered the art of being a functional human being in this so called modern era. If we look at the way technology is presented to us, it is propagated as a tool to help us get even more done within the finite construct of time we have available for families, friends, communities and for ourselves.

The reality is that our external conditioning is giving rise to powerful inner messaging that indicates what we should value and what should be important. The level of attachment that we have to ideas of what is truly important then informs the amount of energy that we expend towards a particular goal or objective. Before we know it we place almost everything on an equal value footing. We say yes to almost everything, there are no boundaries, we are in a constant state of movement, we over use the finite physical and mental resources we have and, for many of us, we become depleted, imbalanced and unwell at various levels.

The phrase ‘I have no time’ often comes up in discussion with the people I’m privileged to work with in group and private sessions as well as on retreats. Essentially they are saying :

I have no time to take care of myself

I have no time for self nourishment

I have no time to rest

If we believe that every time we say no to someone, in order to protect our time and space, that we are somehow failing them and therefore ourselves in the process it’s unlikely, improbable, that we will ever have the courage to say no and to realise the benefit of that no.

The benefit of a well considered and politely delivered no might be the difference between us getting through the day psychologically in one piece or ending up shouting at our partner or children as it all just becomes too overwhelming. It might be the difference between sleeping well with all the associated benefits or spending the night tossing and turning as we can’t tune out of our thoughts.

Please don’t think for a moment that I’m telling you that your lives aren’t busy and, at times, perhaps almost impossible to manage. Living as part of a small family with work commitments, child responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, making time to nurture relationships, means I am constantly busy. That said I’ve become more and more conscious that saying no in the right way and at the right time allows me to protect my inner resources and show up better as a result for myself and those around me.

For me it means consciously socialising and not saying yes to everything that comes my way, it means prioritising my morning practice which allows me to feel more grounded during the day, it means unapologetically taking early nights when I can and it means being ok with not getting everything done - that really is OK!!!! It means spending less time on my phone, taking moments to read, to just sit still and to really dwell and feel nourished by those moments.

We benefit most when we can build these little pockets of space to our day on a regular basis. They don’t have to be spectacular, they’re quite ordinary really….when we understand the value of doing less, keeping things simple we are thanked by our bodies, we are thanked by our minds and benefits truly do accrue to ourselves and everyone we are in orbit with.